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Apr 28

Subjective Attraction

http://www.dreamstime.com/stock-image-kernel-heavy-metal-image7827901It occurs to me that, like chemistry between two people, we are either attracted or not attracted to particular people, places and things.  How much should my opinion impact  the other personally?  NOT AT ALL!!!  As Dr. Wayne Dyer (and others) often points out – what other people think of me is none of my business!

There has been a great deal written about the law of attraction, what makes us attractive (to self and others); the list is endless and often culturally based and biased.  We can often be our toughest critic; and then we allow outside opinion to pile on, and we can make our lives a series of judgements instead of a series of adventures.  Everyone will have an opinion about us whether it is personal or professional.  We judge ourselves, we judge each other and we enter our days with an agenda not quite like anyone else.

From a personal perspective I am struck by the phrase “I am not attracted to you.”  Does that mean that I am not attractive, or is it simply an opinion of another person?  At times in my life when I have not been at my best I have taken that phrase very personally, taken it to heart, and felt very badly about myself.  Other times, when I am solidly in my skin, my head and my heart, I hear that as a reflection of how SOMEONE ELSE is seeing me, is judging me; and I realize that I have a choice about how I receive the information and what I do with it.  Professionally  (as both a human resources executive and a coach) I have been told that I am a cross between a kindly Mom and a drill sergeant.  And, in truth I am all those things (and a wee bit more)!

We can choose to be victims of the outside worlds opinions of who we are; or we can embrace our true selves and just listen to others as a way to collect information.  In my life, I have learned that some information is valid and some is not.  Hence the blog title, information is SUBJECTIVE.  I want everyone to think this blog is a gem of wisdom; and I know that some will appreciate it, some won’t and some won’t take the time to read it and thus make a judgment.

As I continue to evaluate my choices and chart new courses; others will always have an opinion, a recommendation, a suggestion.  While the vast majority will be well intentioned, I no longer feel compelled to change course because someone else thinks it’s better.  I no longer allow the men I date to set the tone of how I feel about me; and I no longer allow my age to dictate what is appropriate (most of the time)!  I hold fast to what I know is true and am grateful that I understand which external information is nourishing and which is destructive.

As we move on with life choices and chart new courses we change.  We may end a career to begin a new one, move across the country, find ourselves as empty-nesters renegotiating our relationship, making care choices for aging parents, redefining our sexual bliss as we age…with so much to do I invite you to focus inward and build a strong core.

Love your life – this is not a dress rehearsal! ♥

Jill

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1 comment

  1. coco

    love the wisdom and knowledge and heart that seeps through your beautiful article which very much resonates with me!! thank you! Corinna, life consultant and wellness coach

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